If you do your homework next to your child all the time, you are robbing him of his autonomy and giving him a toxic dependency that transmits that he is not capable of doing it alone. If you want to help him, that’s fine, but only when he asks you… Don’t be by his side to see everything he does or what he writes. When he finishes doing his homework, of course you can review it and if he has something wrong explain it to him so he can do it again once he understands it … But don’t be like a hawk by his side to see if he does it wrong or not.
Much less put yourself by his side to do his homework because you think he is too slow. Children must learn to be independent and to do things on their own. He must also learn to ask for help when he needs it … If you don’t allow him to do this, and you spend all the time by his side to monitor what he does or does not do in terms of homework, you can be sure that your child will lower school performance and also the notes. This occurs due to dependency and the insecurity that they will have in their own capacities.
If you really want your child to improve in school, don’t do homework for him or do it with him. The result is the same as if you passed your son all the time and did not help him with his needs … With this he would feel emotional abandonment and insecurity, something that would also harm his academic results. Trust your child and be only a guide.
Stop yelling at him
When children are yelled at, they automatically stop listening and their body goes into defense mode … they are filled with stress and don’t think that they will come to their senses or that they will listen to you at that moment because they are not. If you yell at your child to do homework or study, his grades will be much worse than if you have a calm attitude.
The main reason “punitive parenting” strategies like that are unlikely to work is that they don’t directly address the underlying issues that lead to poor outcome. For example, if you punish your child without going out to study more, it will not improve his performance … you have to find out why he does not study more or make sure he learns to study so that he studies more in less time.
Perhaps most importantly, parents using punitive parenting practices may unwittingly deny their children the opportunity to learn the skills and knowledge they need to improve their grades. Or worse, punitive strategies can increase children’s feelings of frustration and aversion to school work. Rather than punishing your child’s poor performance… it is much wiser to give specific advice on how he can improve.